I thought I was strong enough to handle anything but when it comes to him, I can't seem to control how I feel. I saw him in college 3 times this week (Mon, Tues & Sat) altho he had no classes on Tues and Sat! We are taking different subjects, btw... so there was no way I would bump into him altho my college ain't that big. I didn't bump into any of my other classmates who took his subjects... but I bumped into him 3 times this week! Gosh! Lord, are you tryina humor me??? Cuz I ain't laughing!
Maybe that's why I can't help feeling depressed these days... I'm always crying... I just don't know how to forget someone I had loved for almost 2 years. February 22nd 2006 would be our 2nd anniversary... except that we're not gonna celebrate our 2nd anniversary. I remember promising him that I would put our song "Until The End Of Time" on my blog on our 2nd anniversary... and we planned to eat Japanese buffet on that day... but that day will never come...
I tried so very hard to move on but I haven't completely moved on just yet. Throwing the love we shared is not an easy thing to do... I still remember the last time we ever held each other... I could still feel the sadness we both felt when we held each other for the very last time...
Even until today, I could remember every single thing about him: how he smiled at me whenever I sang in a silly voice; how he usta sing to me, how he smelled like, how he usta look at me lovingly... as I'm typing this, tears are rolling down my cheeks. I tried to hate him but I can't. Why, Lord, WHY???
I know that even if we were to get back together now, we wouldn't be happy... as things are different now. But I just really missed the "old him"... the one who loved me so much, he was willing to do anything for me... the one who took care of me when I was sick... and the one who cooked for me on special occasions. The ugly truth is: I never loved anyone else in this world as much as I loved him. He felt the exact same way too... I just dunno why he changed. I really wish I could turn back time and change everything that went wrong... *heartbroken beyond words*
2 comments:
Love this song! Understand how you feel about the whole relationship and him. Moving on takes time, really! I know, you know how much I have been thru in my life. Moving on really does take time, but don't limit yourself to it. From healing to moving on, take the time you need to grow strong again! I'll be there for you, all the time!
Maybe you should stop listening to all these love songs....you know.hehe Try listening to bands like Staind, seether and such.. Ohh any the other thing is your experiencing external locus of control. try to figure out what you want that other guys can give you. "Love is a lie..."
Post a Comment