For the past few days, I've talked to many ppl regarding the situation I'm in. I'm with Brandon and yet my heart still aches whenever I think about Eric. Maybe someday, I would be able to look at him without feeling any pain... but who knows when that day will come...
Some of my friends were there when Eric and I met in college, when we became a couple, when we were going thru happy (and unhappy) times... and those friends always thought Eric was really sweet to me. He WAS sweet to me during the first 8 months we were together tho... and I really miss those times.
Every now and then, memories of the 1st day we met, the 1st time we talked, the 1st time he asked me out, our 1st kiss, the 1st time he said "I love you", the times he took care of me when I was sick, the times that we called each other cute nicknames, the times we sang to each other till we cry, the times he cooked for me, the time he kissed me at the prom, the times we laughed over silly things, our 1st anniversary, our 1st Valentine's Day, the times we went to Get Real Youth Camp, HUGE Camp and Heal The Nation Conference together; the times we participated in college events together, the times we had family dinner together, the way he looked at me when I sang onstage, the times he taught me to read, write and speak Mandarin; the times we watch movies together and the times we wipe each other's tears... would flash right before my eyes.
Everytime I listen to certain love songs, I would think of him. It's so hard to look at him without feeling anything these days. Yes, I know I have Brandon to love me now and I shouldn't be thinking about Eric anymore but for me... when I fall in love... it'll be forever. I've never ever loved anyone else as much as I loved him... and it was my longest relationship... *sighs* I can't deny that I'll always cherish those precious memories. A part of me still misses him and I know that deep down, he'll always be in my heart.
Some ppl asked if it was worth the things I went thru... and I would hafta say YES. Thinking back on the day we 1st said "I love you" to each other... that very second and moment in life, everything seemed perfect and I can hang on to that one moment in my memory as THE moment when I can truly say "I was in love".
Some ppl asked if it was worth the things I went thru... and I would hafta say YES. Thinking back on the day we 1st said "I love you" to each other... that very second and moment in life, everything seemed perfect and I can hang on to that one moment in my memory as THE moment when I can truly say "I was in love".
They say that "it's better to love and lost, than to never love at all". But I beg to differ... cuz losing someone you love the most in the world is more painful than death... plus a million years in HELL. If I knew that love would hurt me this much, I would rather not love at all...
2 comments:
if losing someone would make that person happy, let it be that way. u will in return b happy for him.
if u have nvr loved at all, you wouldn't be the person u are today. :) cheer up :)
dinner in mv on sat nite? ;)
Hi Mich!
I understand how you feel, after all I just lost someone so dear to me too. Just a friendly advice, allow yourself to go through the emotions. The tears, the anger, the hatred, the memories... I call it part of the grieving process. And as long as we don't go through this process, we would always remain the way we are now. Losing someone so dear to us is never easy. I should know, I lost loved ones so many times and each time it hurts even more. I'm here if you needed me, as a listener and as a friend.
Love ya!
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