Sunday, September 23, 2007

How To Score With Women

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called ROBOCOP (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)


ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

17 comments:

Pauline Yap said...

Hahaha! :)

aNgeLic JuLiA said...

lol. quite true. :p

Anonymous said...

Absolutely ridiculous. To make a women happy, a men should have a sense of personal authority and knows what he wants in his life and not submit to what she wants.

It is fact why women deny that they like some one who is always busting and teasing her.

Women doesn't like a "nice" guy who is always pleasing her. There is a little romance for a while, but at the end day, the women will not be attracted to him because he submits everything to her, always pleasing her and that is boring.

Women is completely attracted and happy to be with guys who is unpredictable, knows when to say to "no" to her at the correct situation, knows know to amplify the attraction and tension, always a challenge to her, always giving her the gift of missing him, someone who can make her "FEEL" instead of making her "THINK",

because .....

Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious tests that they throw at men to separate the "get
its" from the "don't get its".

I read your blog, "How to Score With Women"

That article is what women wants indirectly. Women will not want to tell a guy directly be a challenge to them.

How To Score with Women. Be a challenge. A spark. Sassy,

Michelle, how many times do you see a guy being nice to you, buy you gifts and takes you out but you find it is a turn-off, but when you find someone who knows what he wants in life, with sense of personal authority, knows how to create attraction and tension in relationship, you finally found your instant attraction to him.

michsue said...

my goodness... this is NOT an article laaaa... c'mon man... it's obviously a joke... i found it in the "humor" segment off a website... i cant believe i haf crazy ppl visiting my blog and dropping "politically correct" comments, man... *shudders* chillax, man... watch more comedies... go out with ur friends more... dun be a weirdo... =)

Anonymous said...

my goodness.

C'mon lady! My reply is obviously a joke. I can't believe you take it so seriously, Michelle.

I can't believe Michelle can joke and aspect people not to joke with her.

Chillax lady. Obviously ...u r the one should be watching more comedies. Have some life girl.. Go out with yr friends and do not be a weirdo....

;)

michsue said...

it sure didnt sound like a joke... next time, come up with a brilliant comeback... dun just copy my words... i hate anonymous visitors... if u wanna tell me something, reveal urself, k!

Anonymous said...

Well..did your article sure sound like an article you took it from the net, which you did not agree with all of the things written?

So be sure....whatever blog u write, u mean it.. If not, put some comments before the article, review or blog to notify the readers about the source or whether u wrote it or something interesting to share, otherwise... your readers readers will have a negative impression on you when comes to male-bashing article.

Why not put some women-bashing article like

"How to make a men feel comfortable"

Or

"How to increase a men's desire for you"

OR

"Why smarter women can't attract man"

OR

"How Men "test" Women - How to Pass"

OR

"What never say to a men"

OR

"Competition from other women - How to handle it"

OR

"4 Tips for keeping a men's attention"

In a nutshell, your article, "How To Score With Women" that u copied sucks clearly!

haha. u r such a cutie.

If u hate anonymous visitors, then why would u publish yr blog for anonymous visitors to read? If u really hate anonymous visitors, u should have place yr blog under private section for your friends 2n familines to read only.

Again... u c.. women... talks without think. women talks with such great emotion... n forgeting the truth n facts that she truly desires for anonymous visitors to read. Ohh.... Michelle....

michsue said...

AIYOHHHH... what i posted was NOT a male-bashing article man! cant u see it states how unreasonable women can be? and how women wud minus da man's score over da smallest things? what i posted is a humourous way of looking at how unreasonable some women can be... how controlling they r and how they make their bfs miserable... but its in a humourous way la! so technically, its a women bashing article, u nincompoopish imbecile! what da heck is wrong wit u???

Anonymous said...

what da heck is wrong wit u?? ;) Yr website for anonymous visitors and I am taking my time 2 read your blog and I am commenting on what I c.

U should be grateful that I am reading n commenting in yr blog.

If you do not want anonymous user 2 read yr blog , n if you do not want anynoymous user 2 comment, then just disable it.

u nincompoopish imbecile! ;)

For the rest of the visitors, the comments here is really about, without hesitation, "How to make a women want to reply your emails and comments desperately"

michsue said...

i just dun understand why u wanna hurl insults at me for no apparent reason... what i posted was a humorous piece bout unreasonable women when they're in a relationship... it's such a harmless, light-hearted piece and yet u took it so damn personally... and i dun mind anonymous ppl leaving comments in my blog JUST AS LONG AS THEY DON'T CRITICIZE ME for no good reason! if i was dissing someone intentionally... with malice... then maybe u can comment but all i did was shared a harmless humourous piece and YOU dissed ME as tho it was a crime to post a funny piece or something... btw, i get an email everytime someone leaves a comment in my blog so i can reply straight from my email... i dunno why u keep attacking me but if u hate me so much, im sure u wud be man enough to reveal who u really r... dun be a coward...

Anonymous said...

It's her blog and she can write whatever she wants, so pissed off and make your own blog if you want to. Idiot.

Anonymous said...

Dude,

Whats wrong with you man. The piece that she published, i've read it before and it was a good laugh. It still is and I'm sure a lotta other people out there will agree with me.

All the comments that you've posted only says one thing about you. You're a huge egoistic male chauvinistic pig. I guess someone has to represent that category anyways so it might as well be you cos you're doing one helluva job mate.

You must have a PhD. in Chauvinisticism right? Cos you sure as hell sound like a professor in that department. Keep it up!

[ s y e n ] said...

@anonymous post 1 : if dat's ur idea of funny, u better check ur brain again. cuz dat post is hell NOT funny. imbecilic nincompoop. go open the dictionary and find out the meaning of funny b4 u attempt to use dat word again. jeez. and it's SO obvious the post was meant as a joke. although knowing ur knowledge (or lack thereof) of the words funny and joke, i wouldn't expect u to understand the humor in the post.

gawd. ppl nowadays are so stiff they can't even see a joke dat's dancing naked on the tips of their nose. *eye roll*

piece of advice michelle. just straight away delete anonymous replies like that. they're just not worth the effort to reply back.

yau wei(wendy) said...

Yeah..Deng la this people!!Dun kacau my jie la..jeeezzzz...I wander so many comments on this article are from different person.-____-

Hamster Chia said...

AIY AIY... men have been degraded to farming brownie points, like in video games :p STRESS

michsue said...

hahaha... vincent!!! i miss u ler... when r u coming back? pls be back for Christmas... pls pls pls pls... ='(

Cmate said...

Can create a RPG game out of these formulas liao... Hehe!

P/s: I want to watch movie this week.