Saturday, September 8, 2007

I'm Moving On

I woke up this morning and realized that I've gotta get a move on with my life. After meeting Dan last week for the first time this year, I was in an emotional mess for about a week. Hence the long blog posts about Dan in the past week.

Last night after work, I hung out with a few colleagues of mine: Ron (the Art Director), Vin Si (the Brand Executive) and Colin (the Account Executive). We had a great time at Newcom in OUG. Well, the place was not my cuppa but I enjoyed their company... =) We played a drinking game where one's are wilds; it's a dice game in Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and it's a fast-paced game of trickery and deceit... hehehe... ;P To stay "alive", you must bluff - or be bluffed. I had a fun time bullying Colin... hohohoho!!! A former colleague of ours, Joshua Boey (who also happened to be a friend of mine) joined us later on. After the drinking session, Josh, Colin and I went to a nearby mamak stall in OUG to yumcha and we sure talked a whole lotta crap... =P We were there from 1 a.m. till 4 a.m., man. However, it was a great time of fellowship and special friendships were developed... =D I lost a bet to Colin though... and I owe him lunch... =/

Thanks to Josh Boey and Colin, I had come to realize that Dan is not worth my time and love anymore. They did not tell me that directly; in fact, I never told them about Dan. But the things we talked about made me ponder a lot and I woke up this morning feeling... FREE. Free of emotional burdens. I don't love him the way I used to anymore.

However, he'll always have a special place in my heart. If one day he steps up to me and says that he wants to be with me, I would be the happiest and most fortunate girl in the world to be with a wonderful guy like him. But if he doesn't, then I suppose God has better plans for me... =)

Dan, this is for you:

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame
Trapped in the past for too long
I'm moving on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm moving on

I'm moving on
At last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I, have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should, but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm moving on


adriantai said...

sometimes decisions like this is not overnight...

but at least u know what u 'dun need'... :)

i'm not implying that dan's useless or what... just that like a direction in life, some people know where they want to go... some people just know where they don't wanna go...

so in your case, now you know what you dun need to have... :)

michsue said...

well said, adrian... well said... ;)

Cmate said...

Should I say I am impressed or amazed?

I think neither. Sometimes i wonder how fast your heart can change or the feelings you have for others. Sure seems like an overnight deal... but hey, I am not saying it's not good. I am saying it's a good start. We have to start of somewhere.

Movie this week? :)

michsue said...

it's not an overnight thing la... i've been trying to move on since last dec... and then i saw him again last week that made me rethink stuff la... and i've finally moved on after reminiscing our times together... cuz those r just memories... sweet ones... and i know i can only keep those memories in my heart and not hope i can relive them... *shrugs* movie on wed, maybe? =) ask ck to come along too...

InfiniteReveries said...

friends will help you move on. they'll make you realise that some things just aren't worth holding on to. if it's any comfort, what hurts you will make you stronger.

michsue said...

i hope God will gimme someone better...