*Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy For Me*

THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY

My natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection when I've been injured. I dun naturally overflow with mercy, grace and forgiveness when I've been wronged. Hey, I'm not a saint... I'm only human... =/

Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?

The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)

But how do I forgive when I dun feel like it? =/

I know... I know... since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete, right?

But it's always easier said than done, okie.

YESTERDAY

A fellow bro in Christ told me this:

"We'll know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We're the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us. Yeah, forgiveness ain't easy for us. It's not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it's important to God. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart."

*hangs head in shame*

TODAY

Well, I've found that prayer is one of the best ways to break down the wall of unforgiveness in my heart. When I begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God begins to gimme new eyes to see that person and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray, I begin to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that person is precious to God. I also see myself in a new light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in need of forgiveness. If God didn't withhold His forgiveness from me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another, right?

I asked the Lord, "Is it okie to feel anger and want justice for the person we need to forgive?"

The Lord told me that He can deal with the injustices. He said I can pray for Him to judge the person's life, and then I can leave that prayer at the altar. I no longer have to carry the anger. I guess it's normal for me to feel anger toward sin and injustice, but it ain't my job to judge the other person in their sin... *shrugs*

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6:37)

The best reason to forgive is because Jesus commanded us to forgive. We learn from Scripture, if we dun forgive, neither will we be forgiven:

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-16)

We also forgive so that our prayers won't be hindered:

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (Mark 11:25)

I believe that forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by OBEDIENCE to God and His command to forgive.

I also believe that God honors my commitment to obey Him and my desire to please Him when I choose to forgive.

Note To Self:

I must continue to forgive (my job), by faith, until the work of forgiveness (the Lord's job), is done in my heart.

"Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."